A Lenten Check In
FROM THE DESK OF IELA GALIANO-WILLIAMS
As Lent started this year, I felt some resistance to fasting. While I have gained much in these last 9-months with my new daughter, I have also had to let go of a lot of my familiar anchors as well. Leaning into the new has frequently meant letting go of the old (a process deeply rooted in spiritual formation!). I know deep in my bones that it is transforming me for the better, but the process can still leave me feeling a bit off kilter.
With all these feelings, fasting from something else was not on my bingo card for year 1 of parenting. Coffee? Not going to give up that caffeine hit on little sleep! Chocolate? That’s a breastfeeding craving! Netflix? Keeps me awake for night feedings! Perhaps, you felt a similar push back going through your own list. Yet, with each thought, I knew from years past that the seasons of preparation in the church calendar, such as Lent and Advent, have felt necessary to enter the next season of rejoicing.
And so, before I wrote off this year’s practice of Lent all together, I paused and checked in with God. Sure enough, an invitation rose to the surface. I realized that I had been ignoring a tug to spend more time unplugged because it felt like such a lifeline for my sleep deprived brain. I was filling each moment of “free time” with any scrap of entertainment I could and calling it relaxing. When, in reality, it was really a symptom of being overtired and overwhelmed.
Alongside this realization, there has been a question I’ve been asking God for a while about my next steps. All through pregnancy and into this first year, I’ve been waiting to hear a clear answer…and I’m still waiting. My emotional capacity to make a decision and listen deeply has been limited.
All of this to say, my brain needs breathing room. And by the invitation to take out my earbuds and unplug, God seemed to be offering me just that for Lent.
What have I noticed so far? That I still need the breathing room! My spiritual director and I jokingly noticed last session that it takes a minimum of 30 days to form a habit, which doesn’t give us much time left in the 40 days of Lent! Now, God works on His own timeline, but it was a good reminder that the practice of creating breathing room in my brain has just begun. As my director noted, perhaps this Lenten invitation is the beginning of God’s response. Time will continue to tell!
What about you? How is your Lenten journey moving and growing? What have you felt an invitation to let go of? Have you noticed this creating room for anything else?
As one of our recent retreat speakers asked, what seeds are you watering in your life and what weeds need pulling up by the roots?
May Lent be a time to tend to that garden of our heart, creating space for God’s grace to bloom.
If you desire to create intentional breathing room with God throughout the year then I encourage you to check out our next round of cohorts to see if one feels right for you!