Living Lent
FROM A FRIEND OF PAX, ANITA WILLIAMS-GALIANO
Well, that was different! - I don’t know about you, but as a kid, I grew up with a deep desire to understand & feel my faith. When that understanding or feeling, didn’t materialize, there were moments of thinking: “I wasn’t chosen.”, “I must be doing it wrong.”, or “The bible is too confusing.”
I am shocked to say that for too long I saw these feelings as a sign that I needed to change & “do something to fix it” until well into my adult years.
It took finding a faith community willing to practice reading, sitting with, & praying the scripture for me to allow my experiences of faith to not have to look a certain way, but to just be as they are.
This practice of sitting with, doubting, & then asking how I might live inside of the world, gave me incredible access to a deeper faith that I so longed for as a child (& am deeply grateful for as an adult).
Have you experienced anything similar in your faith journey?
While my faith community as a church-plant recently came to an end, I am, in this Lenten Season so incredibly blessed to have needed a familiar practice of “Being” while going through a life-altering event line that lined up beautifully with this season.
After 23 years, my ex-husband & I decided it was time to put our family home on the market. Our home had been a safe-space & haven for family & friends, it had covered us as we raised two children, & it aided us in caring for my father before assisted living. It had served its’ purpose but had long since placed a heavy financial burden on us both. It was time to let it go – To Release.
Then came the planning & the doing. So many things to do, so many issues to consider. Oh my! And those emotions that got stirred up as we went from room to room, attic to closet, garage, to storage. As I let go of more & more items, I found myself repeating the mantra, Be in it, Be with it, Breath, Speak it out loud, Release.
I was in the thick of moving homes, when a sweet offer from PAX came through Instagram asking if anyone would like to have a space to be together through the Lenten Season. As some of you may know, I have the joy of knowing that my daughter (in-law) is on the other end of many of our PAX messages. So, it felt like a familiar voice was calling me to say, “Yes!”.
As our small group gathered & connected, I became present to how often the Lenten Season had continued to feel like that time in my childhood. Doing things as The Season called for but feeling disconnected, not fully understanding, & feeling separate from my actions. Sometimes giving up something, sometimes not, sometimes starting a practice & then not making it through the Season. – Doing.
This Season was different & presented itself profoundly & uniquely. As I was taking on the actions of selling, packing, & moving, suddenly I awoke in a season that called for me to walk the final days of Christ Our Lord & to not just do, but Be (in it). - To fully relate to the teaching & events in Christ’s Life that lead to the full & complete sacrifice on my behalf. - And finally, to rejoice.
To Be in it - To Be with it - To Breath – To Speak it out loud - And Release! (Sound Familiar?)
Through my act of living & doing what this season of life called for, & choosing not only how to be with it, but to be open to what that process holds I was blessed with another step to my Lenten practice. –Receive (what comes).
The full intention of Lent became more clear: to be led by prayer & contemplation to be more deeply related to God. To relate to Christ’s suffering, sorrow, & sacrifice gives us access to celebrate & fully RECEIVE the JOY of His Resurrection.
I learned to Release & Receive this Season.
What about you? If you had to choose 2 words to describe how this Lenten Season occurred for you, what would they be? Please feel free to share them in the comments below as we continue to form this community together! – Was it difficult, easy, somewhere in between? – What did you discover about yourself, God, or those around you?